IndyCrap

“Hey guys, just wander out there like two puckered anuses and act like you’re the two biggest marks on the planet! It’ll be OVER!”

We’ve all seen horrible angles. I mean, we’ve had to swallow Tiger Man, The Original Chris Wade, the Battle of the Metal Maniacs, Joe Rules as a babyface against the Great Caruso, Mike Masters & Dave Desire winning the ECPW World Tag Team Titles on a bet, and hundreds of other ridiculous slices of IndyCrap. But sometimes, one stands out head and shoulders above the rest. Sometimes, an angle is so horrible that it defies description.

Some things are stupid, but they are also funny. Take, for example, the picture to your right.

However, the “humor” about to be described was more like “horror.” It is the absolute, beyond a shadow of a doubt, most wretched, horrible IndyCrap imaginable. This, my friends, is the true, honest-to-God, steaming pile of corn doody of all indy angles. There was no beginning, no end, and no reason for this angle to happen. It was intended to be “funny.”, but it wasn’t funny. It was downright embarrassing. It took two top heels and simultaneously, single-handedly shredded their credibility and vacuumed away any heat they may have ever had.

Anyway, Rick Silver, Joe Rules, and Dave Desire made up the “Rutgers Revolution” at Penn State’s NWF. There were other members; Luxurious Lynne…Kristy Kiss…some tall guy who never showed up again…a bunch of other weirdoes…but Desire, Silver and Rules made up the core of badass heels in the promotion. Not that you’d know that, because they jobbed out mercilessly on every show, yet somehow still remained over with the crowd.

Well, they were over on ALMOST every show. Except for one night. This night. The Worst Night Ever.

Silver and Desire had missed the October show, where the booker thought it would be a good idea for them to do Halloween impersonations. Well, heck, that would have actually made sense. Except when this angle finally got around to being unleashed on the poor, unsuspecting NWF fans, it wasn’t Halloween. It was much later. I think it might have even been December, or January. Thus, nothing made sense. Two characters who got themselves over returned to the NWF…as big marks who acted like bad backyard wrestlers. (Insert joke here. Better yet, don’t.)

So Rick Silver came out having absolutely no idea what to do or how to act. So he tried to act like the Rock. But he’s not the Rock. He’s Rick Silver. People didn’t want to see Rick Silver, let alone this dingbat acting like a 35-cent imitation of an actual GOOD wrestler. But there he was, and away he went.

Rick Silver imitating The Rock: Not humor

Click HERE for a rousing audio clip. Hear the crickets. (“Finally, the Rick has come back to Penn State!” *much rejoicing*)

That’s right, “The Rick” had come back to Penn State. Amazingly, nobody gave two shits. And why would they? Even Rick Silver didn’t want to be out there acting like a horse’s ass! And for Rick Silver, that’s really saying something.

Of course, it couldn’t possibly get worse. Or could it?

Click HERE for ANOTHER rousing audio clip (“IF YA SMELL…” *WWF Music and “Excited” Commentators*)

Only one of these men spent money to get to the NWF show

That’s right kids…out came Dave Desire with a blonde wig and a Y2J shirt to really get the party started. You could almost taste the apathy in the infamous White Building. Please, for the love of God, END THIS SHIT! any other booker would say. But NOT IN THE NWF!

Click HERE for another torturous audio clip (“Welcome to Penn State is Desire-Cho” *Silence*)

Any normal booker would have noticed that this angle continued to suck in ways formerly known only to porn stars like Amber “Now THAT’S A BLOWJOB!” Lynn. He would have pulled the plug rather than see two of his biggest draws go out there and stink up a whole audience. BUT NOT IN THE NWF!

At least in porn, things are supposed to suck

Rick Silver and Dave Desire continued to blunder through their gimmicks in front of a completely silent crowd while praying for someone to run in and disrupt the horror. It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t entertaining. It was total, unadulterated IndyCrap.

In case you were wondering, Joe Rules eventually wandered out to a gigantic babyface pop in order to put an end to the festivities. Rules and Silver, later on, turned on Dave Desire, and probably stiffed the shit out of him due to his overenthusiastic portrayal of Chris Jericho. And when I say probably, I mean we did.

Not much more can be said about this angle. Rick and Dave both recovered and lived happy, prosperous lives. Joe Rules has vowed never to discuss his participation in this angle, or this federation, for that matter, again.

Oh, And the booker of the angle ended up working on the booking team for the World Wrestling Federation.

Yep.